Last year I stopped working and it’s been a transition to get used too! I’m not going to complain in any way about this you understand; I know how incredible lucky I am to be able to step off the hamster wheel at such a young age (55, a child!).
I have been so fortunate to have had a career in financial services where for many years I was on a non contributory pension, as was my husband. We also have no children, so don’t need to think about university support or anything. I do have dogs and horses so I’m not completely dependent free.
Stepping away has been so much easier than I thought. My job was big with lots of pressure and stress. Laterally I was a consultant tasked with bringing in multi million pound sales annually, as well as supporting the design of the strategy of the business, supporting a team of colleagues in their personal development, managing clients needs as well as being accountable for delivery of large technology projects for clients. I worked long hours and many weekends (in 2023 and first half of 2024 I did 24 weekends of 12 hour shifts).
People ask why did you finish at 55, are you not bored? I’m definitely not bored! Having horses at home and land to manage gives a continuous stream of jobs that previously I either had to pay someone to do, squeeze into my weekend or let them slip.
The ‘why did I finish at 55’ question is probably a bigger one with a few reasons.
Firstly, I lost the passion for what I was doing. The stress of the job and the risk of things going wrong when you are doing a big implementation can be a real buzz and an adrenaline rush. I found I just didn’t care as much anymore, the excitement wasn’t there and it just felt like ‘more of the same’. I also found the strategy work hard to take seriously anymore. It felt like we were reinventing the wheel over and over again with lots of business speak thrown in. I wanted to just shout out loud ‘THIS IS BULLSH*T!’ Clearly not a good place to be in when you have colleagues depending on you!
The other reason was probably more wrapped up in what happened with my parents and watching their lives get smaller and smaller before they died. They were only 23 years ahead of me and their lives had reduced so much. My Mum had dementia and my Stepdads world was supporting her and dealing with his own health issues.
When I looked to the future, I realised that I had a window of perhaps 20/25 healthy years to have fun, enjoy my horses, get fit, travel and spend quality time with my husband and the dogs. To do the things I always had to squeeze into that reduced spare time; walk the dogs, ride the horse, cut my grass, pick the poo, see my friends, plant the flowers pots and spray the dock leaves…
Small things that only matter to me, but are the things I love doing and they were all compressed into that small 56 hours or so of free time I had in a week.
So I did it. At the end of March 2025 I stepped off that hamster wheel!
Summer was absolutely wonderful, I spent hours outside, my daily step count average was 25k, I rode Bobby loads and bought a new lawn mower and realised I enjoyed cutting the grass. As winter loomed, the darker nights are more challenging and I felt more restless in the evenings, but I found lots to do indoors as well.
EquiTeam has really helped me in my new phase of life. The community are always there for support and help and the weekly downloads to give structure to ridden work. Bobby had been off work for a few weeks, so I spent time catching up with some of the previous videos – I love getting my little slice of an EquiTeam lesson in a video from Liz Daniels! I’m also really excited about the new products. The weekly wipeable planner will help me focus on making the most of my time and not just living in ground hog day. The EquiTeam journal looks brilliant as well and a great way to record what you are up to and look back on progress.
There are some things I’ve had to get used to, I’m a constant money worrier and can’t quite get my head round I can have money and not work, so that’s taken some adjusting. I was very lucky in Financial Services that I always had a generous annual bonus and that paid for exciting things like holidays and mud control matts or less exciting things like laying tarmac and filling potholes! I have to budget better now and I am enjoying finding bargains on Vinted and at my local charity shop. I haven’t bought any ‘new new’ clothes for ages, it a personal challenge to find stuff I like and then get it cheaper second hand. I’ve made good use of the EquiTeam Members Bring and Buy page have helped find some bargains and also raise some money!
I do find it hard when people say ‘you have retired??’ I just reply, ‘no, I’m just not working just now!’
I know I’m so very lucky to be in this position (thanks RBS), I would just encourage younger people to plan for their future now pension isn’t boring it a route to having your best life early! If you are my age try and step away from the desk a wee bit sharper if you can, have that early finish Friday, have that lunchtime walk or coffee with friends.
As Mary Oliver the Pulitzer Prize winning power write,
“Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?”
Carolyn x
